Thought I would blog more while I was in Taiwan, but I didn’t. It was kind of depressing cause I was there the first week, and depressing cause I was leaving the second week. In any fashion, Taiwan trips have never been happy ones for me. My memories about that place have all been sad ones, or ones with a tint of negative feeling. Maybe it’ll change in the future, hopefully it will anyways.
The last few days since I was back, I’ve been sleeping a lot. Part of it is to rest up from the tirp, part of it was to mentally leave the depressing ones and readjust back to the life I am used to. I guess part of the depression came from couped up in a dark hotel room having no means of transportation to get out and afraid of being exhausted if I venture out and not able to visit mom and spend time with her.
When I called her after I got back, she was sleeping so I told them I’ll call back. She called last night and after we talked, Mary said she hasn’t spoken since I left. I felt bad, really sad again. But I managed to make her laugh on the phone and Mary said mom didn’t want to eat still so she fed her. I am very grateful for her to be taking such kind care of mom. But she’s leaving in July. I don’t think we’ll have another kind caretaker like Mary again. Wish she could stay but her family beckons her and they deserve to have her back after 3 years.
Life is full of unfulfilled wishes. Although my life has been on the rise since I met Leo and quit my job, every time I think of mom, I feel sad and quilty. Yet, there is no good solution to the situation.
Back to my dancing. I went for the lessons the 2nd day after I got back. And my legs have been sore ever since. Just being away for 2 weeks made such a difference in my physical condition. It took a long time to build it up but only 2 weeks to lose it all.