Monthly Archives: August 2009

I found a great coffee shop this time not far from mom’s nursing home by the open market.  One night, I was on my way back to the hotel after venturing to the bubble tea stand, I noticed this little coffee shop called ‘Antibu’. (I will have to ask Serena about the name).  A lady was inside and it looked like a shop that sells coffee making equipments.   Then I saw a sign “roasting”.  Then I though she probably sells coffee beans and knows about Taiwan beans.  So I turned around and went in.

The lady looked about 30ish and was friendly.  She was not very enthusiastic about Taiwan’s coffee beans.  But she sounded very knowledgeable about coffee and very confident about the coffee she roasted.   She even poured a small cup of ice coffee for me, it actually doesn’t taste too sour without cream and sugar.  She was about to close the shop and I didn’t want to drink coffee so late at night.

I went back the next day when mom was taking a nap after lunch.  I think I spent 3 hours there talking to her.  She is a very friendly person and very proud of her coffee.  I watched her roast a couple of batches too.  She examines the green beans first in a tray and picks out the bad ones.  After checking almost every bean, she then put into the roaster.  After roasting, she uses a round pan with wired bottom to get all the shaff out and uses a knife to pick open the beans that has some imperfection in the middle and scrape that off.  Then she bags the beans.

She roasts her beans to about city or city-.  The most can be city+ and she considers those slightly burned anyway.  So when she saw my beans, she was obviously holding back her disapproval.  Later she told me she was even a bit reluctant to put them into her grinder cause the burned taste will be left in it and ruin her coffee.  Yeah, she is a coffee snob.  🙂  And she told me that the water should be about 90 degree C.  Not boiling to retain the flavour of the coffee.  And ther coffee is very flavourful.  I haven’t been able to make one like hers yet in my room.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I went back the next day and another customer came in.  This lady just came to have a cup of coffee on her way to pick up her daughter from school.  She sat and talked with us for a couple of hours.   She did most of the talking.  Serena and I just listened.  But when she asked why I was there and knew that I lived in Ohio, she got very interested and wanted to know how she can send her college bound daughter to the US to learn english and be prepared for graduate school.  That topic went on for about half an hour.  Finally she left and it was time for me to leave too.  But she talked Serena into taking me to the night market that night.  Yes, after knowing me for less than a day, she offered to take me to the night market.  I think she was also feeling sorry for me to have such a boring time.

That night, she took me and another customer to 通化夜市。 She said 士林夜市 is too popular and easy for me to get to anyway.  She is a very thoughtful person.  Wow, lots of shops and lots of food stands.  It was great.  Although she meant for me to shop for some gifts, I didn’t like to slow everyone down and didn’t buy anything.  But we did eat smelly tofu and shaved ice.  She knows exactly which ones have the best to offer.  It was great to have a guide like that.  She drives like a taxi driver too, but again calmly and confidently.  I would be nervous but not her.   She dropped me off at the hotel after 11pm.  It was a great time.

Sunday I got a set of coffee making equiptment to make coffee in the room cause Monday is her off day.  I made some Monday morning and this morning, I still haven’t got it down yet.  The first cup was too strong, the second cup was ok but not as flavourful, I made a huge mug this morning and it was too weak.  Ha, takes time to get it still.  I will go over this afternoon to have some different coffee.  She gave me Etheopia’s stanmore (sp?).  Before I go home, I will get more coffee from her so L can taste it too.

Tonight, it’s dinner with the relatives.  uuuuuuugh.  Never enjoyed that but my cousin hinted that I would be sneered on if I don’t give a dinner banquet for those that visited my mom.  I don’t know why Chinese like these fake dinners.  He invited some one who I havne’t met for over 30 years and has never been friend with just because he came and visited mom once.  He maybe my cousin’s friend, but not mine.  And the only people that I am thankful for, I have bought presents for already.   Why should we do this meaningless and fake dinners.  sigh.  This is one of the reasons I hate coming back if not for mom.

Sunday.  6 days after I landed in Taiwan.  It’s September now and still hot and humid as ever.  None of the clothes I brought is well suited for this weather.  Actually, even after I looked around, I don’t think any clothes is suited for hot and humid weather, period.  If I leave the air conditioned room, I feel uncomfortable and sticky.  There are lots of half-hearted AC around, one in mom’s nursing home room is like that.  But then none of the older ladies like AC anyway, one of them demanded for the sliding door to be open for a crack all the time.  So there you go. 

I was wondering what would the life be like if I live here for longer periods of time.  Say, a month.  What kind of life would I have?  In this neighborhood, I can find almost everything I need actually.  There is outdoor market to shop for food to cook in the morning, there are all kinds of stands that you can get food all the way till 12:30ish in the morning.  There are shoe store, clothing store, restaurants, department store, movie theaters, yeah, everything you need.  I can even stop at Serena’s for a perfect cup of coffee and talk to anyone that stops by for the latest neighborhood news.  But then again, the transportation is horrific if I want to venture out of the neighborhood.  Driving is impossible.  Bus stops are blocks away from your home.  TV has very little good shows to offer.  hmmm.  I don’t know if I can stand the life here very long. 

I miss the simplicity and the quality of life  at home .   Although my favorite food is hundrends of miles away, there is a relaxed way of living.  I can get in the car and go anywhere without worrying about parking and traffic.  I don’t have to jump back when a mortorcycle decides to cut in front of me to make a left turn.  I don’t have to stop in my track when a bicycle suddenly cuts in to park in front of the shop I passes by.  Yes, in general, the way things are have improved a lot but then in other ways, they really haven’t.

There are still reports of the August 8th typhoon aftermass (sp?) every day.  Lots of mess and lots of protest to the government officials of their sluggish help and the footage of the disaster.  Houses fell to the floor of the river bed.  Unbelievable sights.  Very sad.  The soldiers are out helping to move the tons and tons of mud out of streets in the worst areas. 

h1n1 is also in the news every day.  It’s a big scare here right now.  I noticed the medical station at the custom ready to check people with a fever when I arrived.  There are cases of young people that died of it.  The vaccines are being produced.  People are wearing masks too.

Probably not the best time to visit as far as Taiwan is concerned.  

The portal DVD player turned out to be a bad choice.  I should have known but was hoping for the impossible.  Mom is as stubborn as ever.  Actually, I think this is the symptom of all old people.  A friend said his mom was hospitalized and wouldn’t eat or take anything from the helper they tried to hire for her and would only eat food given from her children.  This placed a big burden on the children who has to be there 24/7 to take care of her every need.  Don’t know when and if I get there, would I be like that?  I strongly hope not!!!

The first full day in Taiwan.  After breakfast at the hotel, I went to mom’s nursing home.  I surprised her.  She didn’t know that I was arriving and she just sat there stunned, I think.  I was joking with her too trying imitate those confused dog head turning and she did the same.  This made the grandma in the next bed laugh.  The nurse came up and asked mom if she recognized me.  She said, ‘no, I don’t know her”.  Then the nurse said you don’t recognize your daughter coming from the US to see you.  She said, of course I do, it’s stamped on her head.  Everybody laughed too.  Sometimes, she can be humerous.  Like she told me in secrecy that the grandma in the next bed is pregnant.  The care taker told me that she said that about that lady before because the lady has a little pertruding belly.  And my mom also said that she is dating an old man in the nursing home.  The drama in the nursing home I guess.

I had seafood hot pot for lunch and meet gumbo soup for dinner.  And a bubble tea to finish the day.  Trying different food this time.  S is asking for pictures.  So I’ll have to remember to start taking pictures from now on.

Getting ready to start the next day now.  Will have to call the relatives too to let them know I’m here.  And they will have to do the getting together dinner again.  sigh.  a burden for all of us.

It’s been over a year since I last came back to Taiwan to visit mom.   The long flight is finally behind me.

Went from Cleveland to Los Angeles and then to Taipei.  Decided to try the shuttle bus in LAX from domestic to the international terminals.  What an experience!  I got on bus “A” and wanted to make sure that I was on the right one.   The driver is an older african american gentleman.   So I asked if he stops at China Airlines.  No answer.  I asked again.  Then I detected a very slight nod still no vocal confirmation.  It seemed a bit odd but I sat down.  He stopped at a couple more domestic terminals, lots of people got on and almost everyone asked if the bus stops at their destination.  He never gave a good Yes or No answer.  Just a vague nod or a vage disapproving shake.  Finally, he got irritated from all the people asking, he told everyone, this is bus “A”, A menas all the terminals.  We looked at each other thinking this is really odd.  After the domestic terminals, he turned around and asked where do we want to go.  We all answered.  He stopped at China Air.  I was a bit confused and asked if China Airlines is at the same place.  He said, it’s china Air, China airlines is china airlines.  I said correct, so is this where I should get off?  He said, you said China Air.  That’s why I stopped at China Air.  (That would be a very incorrect assumption.  I know the difference of these two airlines cause I actually went to china Air last year in Korea and felt really embarrassed when I was told that I went to the wrong one.  So I know I didn’t make another mistake this time for sure.)  Oh well.   The next stop he yelled “International Terminal”.  I waited.  Then he said, “China Airlines, ..”   Okay, now I know this is the stop I get off.  Well, it turned out that it’s at the beginning of the building for a lot of airlines.  And China airlines is at the other end of the building.  I think he intentionally stopped there to make sure I walked the whole way.

No more shuttle bus in LA!!  I could have walked with a lot less irritations and frustrations.  I walked all the previous times and just wanted to have an adventure this time.  An adventure I got for sure.  🙂

The rest of the trip was thankfully uneventful.  I knitted and listend to an old audible book that I forgot most of the details.  Didn’t sleep much on the plane, not comfortable and my chair couldn’t recline either.  Showed the little girl sitting next to me how to go to the video games and she played the zuma-like game for a while.  Her mother or grandmother was not that friendly.  I almost missed tray pick up a few times because she just quietly handed over her tray and the little girl blocked my view to the aisle to notice any commotions.  The flight attendant had to call for mine to let me know they were there. 

The custom and the luggage pick up were both smooth and painless.  The security brought a little dog to sniff the luggages.  It’s so cute we almost forgot about the seriousness of his mission.  Took a cab from the line and the driver was a typical taxi driver that went 120 in the 90 zone and zig zag from lane to lane.  He was very proud of his skills though and told me so.  Ended up he got to the hotel in record time and the fare was less than what I am used to pay for the taxi ride.  He felt bombed.  But after I gave him the $100 difference any way, he happily took my luggage into the lobby for me.  $$$ helps in a lot of situaions.

After a shower and settling down in the room, I went out to search for some food and to stretch my legs.  Found all kinds of food stores and stands still going strong at 11:30pm.  Got some yen-su calamari and egg yolk filled taro balls and a Taiwan beer from the corner 7/11.  It was very delicous.  I don’t normally like yen-su anything but this was very, very tasty.  I was thoroughly satisfied.  If anything, food is fantastic to this old chinese taste bud.

That night, before I went to sleep, my feet kept cramping up.  Probably protesting the long flight and the fact that I only got up and went to the restroom once in the whole flight.  But it didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

Saturday night. Have a taste for steak for a few days now. So off I go and picked bistro since I haven’t been there for a while and I always liked the place.

The place is bubbling with people and I picked a table by the lounge. It’s so busy the waitor took a while before he got my order. With podcast in my ear and some pop music playing in the background, I proceeded to have a nice dinner.

Maybe off to dance later.

Watched Easy Entertaining with Michael Chiarello and got a recipe for Spicy Martini.  Basically Martini with a few drops of hot sauce.  I tried it and can’t tell that it’s spicy but the alcohol provides an easy buzz.

s invited us to a bbq this sunday.  T is coming home for a week and she asked for a bbq.  So S gives one  What we do for our kids.  E texted and called tonight.  It felt good to talk to her and get to know what’s happening in her life.

The conversation started when I asked why I don’t call those I love and ended up in a simi fight where I was questioned why I didn’t give more.  Yeah, it’s just what I was asking for.  A self search ended up in a finger pointing episode.  Still don’t know when it’s going to unthaw.

So  a loving person can point a finger and go into a deep freeze at minutes notice.  And someone who you appreciate suddenly becomes a source of pain and irritation.  So is there a true nice person and is there a true love that will never break and never cease?

Hey, if all fails, a good Martini will always give you a buzz no matter what.

Isn’t life a give and take story?  There is no purely good person or possibly a pure bad person.  It’s in the interaction between them that creates the label ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  You label a person good because that person ‘give’ more for the preceptor at the time.  You label a person ‘bad’ because that person ‘takes’ more for the preceptor during that time.  So there is no absolute good and bad, it’s all subjective.

Now for each of us, we will give or take at a particular time when the circumstances dictate.  We give more when our life gives us a smoother ride and enables us to be more generous and giving.  We take more when we feel there is an entitlement because we have given or when we are lazy.

There is guilt when we take more there is anger when we give more.  Is there a true giver that is never selfish and is there a true taker that feels no guilt?

Tried to call mom tonight but she was sleeping so I told the care taker that I’ll call again next week.  It has not been the same since she moved into the nursing home.  The intimacy is gone.  The phone call is always a hassle of talking to strangers and waiting and trying again when the phone is not picked up.   And the conversation has become a series of repeated subjects that have been said numerous times before and now being itereated again.  It’s sad when you can’t really talk to your parents any more in any reasonable fashion and the calls to them is just a form of courtesy.  I miss the vibrant person that she used to be who could initiate an international call on her own and just called me to talk and Dad was in the background yelling about things.  His hearing was very bad already and it’s not possible to talk to him on the phone.  He couldn’t hear me and needed mom to translate.  But she was on top of things and we could carry on a conversation.  All that is gone now. 

I will be visiting her in two weeks.   Got the airplane tickets, made the reservation for the hotel.  And I dread it as I dread it every other time in the past few years.  It’s not going ‘home’ any more.  It’s a foreign place where I don’t have many ties and the relatives are not really related in any sense of the word.  I go back and forth between the hotel and the nursing room spending a few hours a day with mom or go to one of those dinner parties for formality’s sake with those relatives.  Although mom gets to see me, we don’t really connect any more.  She is drifting more and more to her younger days.   She tells stories of her past, of ghosts that she sees, of made up, imagined affairs.  And I don’t have the heart to point out the impossibilities, so I sit there listening to her and making agreeing noises.  Is this the road I will be on as I get older?  Do my children need to put up with me when I slowly lose my sanity when I am old?  It’s sad.

S and C came over for dinner.  I made spinach and artichoke dip, corn salsa, jerk shrimp and a salad.  She brought stuffed zukini and a cocktail mix.  We talked, ate and drank.  Topics changed to children and parents.  S calls her mom every week.  C talks to their daughter every day.  In comparison, I talk to mom once every few weeks, and the same with ey.  em lives close by but we seldom talk on the phone, sometimes a few text messages is all we manage to connect with.   I must not have that connection gene in me to keep in touch with mom and the kids.  I dread calling mom, I don’t want to disturb the kids’ life.  So I don’t call them much.  But they are on my mind a lot.  I wish I know more about kids’ daily life but that is a thing for the past when they were young and living with me.  Now they both have their own places and lives to live,  even when we talk on the phone, I feel disconnected with them.  Maybe that’s how it is when the kids get older like I am with mom.

So it’s been a bit depressing lately.  Life is still full though.  Danincg, knitting, spinning, working.  Something is missing, however.  And I can’t put my finger on it.