Woke up with a raging headache. I did not dream of mom. If the spirit can go into heaven, the Chinese tradition will prolong it. They won’t even start the first prayer ceremony till the 7th day and there are 7 of them. I think this is more for the living than for the dead, it makes it easy for the living to slowly let go. And yet they keep the spirit around by calling them and reading prayers to them.
Need to get something in the stomach first and take some pain med for the headache. It feels like a sinus headache, better get it under control before I go to the funeral home. It’s a long way from the hotel. Need to take the subway.
After two tylenol and a short map, headache is better. I can barely feel it now. Time to get ready to go and visit mom. After the prayer yesterday, they put the stand that has mom’s name in a room with others. That’s where I need to go. Also need to give the funeral planner mom’s picture to be enlarged for the funeral and Nikon’s ID copy.
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It took over an hour to 1.5 hours to get to the funeral home. I waited for 20 minutes before I got on the bus that takes me to the subway. A few minutes to wait for the subway. Subway only took about 20 minutes, but the shuttle bus from the subway to the 2nd funeral home took another 10 minutes of waiting time and 15 minutes of ride. By the time I got to the funeral home, I was already tired.
Met Mr. Liu and gave him the info he needed, he showed me where and how to burn the incense for mom. And we sat and talked for at least half an hour. He also stressed that it should be my decision where to keep mom’s ashes. He also recommended a different site to put her ashes in Taiwan that has a better view and maintenance. I am still feeling awkward about insisting on keeping mom in Taiwan. But I’m leaning towards that thought now. Mr. Liu gave me a very practical advice. He said, if your mom stays in Taiwan, there is hope that you would come back every so often to visit her and also meet some old friends. If she is in China, you would not have the happy feeling of coming back to your root when you visit your mom. You probably won’t visit her ever.
Nikon called to meet him and his wife and Mr. Liu for Dim Sum tomorrow morning. I took the chance to express my preference of keeping mom here in Taiwan. He said he would be on my side for my decision. Nobody would move mom without telling me first. So if I insist on keeping mom here, they would have to respect that decision. I think after talking to so many people, I feel more and more at ease of saying that I want to keep mom here. I believe now mom would help me too.
A good friend here gave me the prayer to cite for mom. She is so insightful, I have been looking for such a thing since yesterday. I have asked many people and got no answer. She offered it out of nowhere. I’ve been blessed since I knew her a year ago. she is one of the 貴人in my life. She called and took me to dinner tonight. She and her husband have been such help in these hard times. God has been good to me. There is help around every corner when I thought I couldn’t make it in a difficult situation.