It’s almost comical, when I was browsing on Amazon for Henri Nouwen’s Genesee Diary, I discovered that I already purchased the Spiritual Journals in 2003. How little my mind remembers, it’s scary. I went into the library and actually found the book to my amazement. I was ready to accept the fact that I lost the book from the move. And promptly, I started reading it. I remembered how fond I was of the Genesee Diary when I read it a long time ago. I got the same feeling when I read it today. He stirred something inside of the same chord. Can’t point my fingers to it, but his struggles in the monastery spiritually and mentally in the first month are the same struggles I have experienced in my life.
Human insecurity that leads to anger, frustrations and sadness. The disproportion of the anger and the actual events shows a deeper imbalance in my own psyche than the acts I observe in others. The need for a full, unconditional love and the faults I find in others of the smallest transgression actually reflects my own immaturity and shallowness. When will I be able to “grow up”. The multitude of attachment for things and people only creates emptiness and disappointments.
I am grateful for his words and thoughts. HIs reminding me of my own lacking and imperfection. His humbleness in disclosing his own weakness. My gain in realizing mine.