Had a hard time waking up today. Got so interested in the audio book “the Absolute Power” and stayed up too late. Was knitting the blue shawl while listening to the book, but after 3 repeats of the pattern I discovered that I didnt pul the even rows. The design still showed and I didn’t dislike it. The purl rows actually prevented the edge from curling. But I still decided to rip it all off and started again. The second try yielded a much smoother front but I learned that if I dont mind the rough surface I can actually use this trick to produce a two sided shawl with any pattern except the cables of course. But you don’t knit cables in a shawl right?
The university is closed due to bad weather forecast but Peter is in and the tv and camera were in. So I went to work. We brought both to my office. But upon opening the tv box, we discovered a used unit with a missing keyboard. Peter was quite incensed by it and called Amazon to complain. They offered a refund and a UPS pickup. We will have to go to bestbuy to find one now. The netcam need a PoE that I didn’t order. So it was a disappointment all in all. Peter may take me to bestbuy to get the tv if he can finish other more pressing stuff. Hope the weather doesn’t get too bad tho.
Asked Brandon about the Nexus S phone. He said you could only get that at Bestbuy and it’s not sold in the retail store. But he recommended a new phone that’s coming in Feb called Thunderbolt. I’ll have to check that out. He also recommended the hotspot Verizon sold that uses 4G. And Xoom for a tablet. I have to check all of them out.
Still obsessed with the Gathsamani Abbey. Found some pictures on Google and saved them for desktop. Such an austere life with such rich interior potentials.
4pm home
Storm is threatening to come but hasn’t arrived in full force yet. Came home early just in case. Shoveled the drive way since it was not touched by the plowers last night. Leo brewed a cup of tea for me as I came in to warm me up. It is such a joy to read the “Hermitage Journal”. Some thought came to me that I wanted to jot down but by the time I got the iPad and came back to the couch, it escaped. Wonder how others catch their fleeting thoughts in case like this. Pen and paper is even more inconvenient. I guess I should be more prepared and just have the iPad with me at all times.
Found the android app site, but it’s on my laptop so I can’t put it here. Hmm, really need a way to have these info at the finger tips when I write.
4:40
Asked Leo to put Mozart on. The music fits the wintery scene so well. Feels pristine, cheerful and quiet. E went to exercise. She is such a fanatic now about fitness. I wish I am a tenth of that if possible.
6:00pm
Reading the Hermitage Jounal on July, 9, 1970 where John talked about reading Julien Green’s Journal who couldnt bear great music, it made them feel too much. This is my exact complaint about classical music. My emotions just get messed up by it. But he said, “You needed not to feel this deeply.”. I wonder if I would ever get passed this. I like the quiet ones played in piano which puts me in a dreamy state and yet soft enough to still follow my reading or reflections. The piece of Mozart thats playing one is exactly the kind I love.
It’s the part that John just got almost electrocuted. He has periods of memory lapses. It parallels Merton’s death. So strange. The biographer who spent his days in the biographee’s hermitage experiencing the same physical environments and views and people as the dead, then he got shocked by the lightening that shared almost the same experience the dead went through. How odd.
With my fascination of the monasteries and a retreat in one, I also realize that I am living in a lovely home that provides almost the same view in my living room as the one John talked about with all the modern conveniences around me, a gas fireplace, a stereo that
is playing Mozart, warm, dinners cooking on the modern stove instead of hot plates that were used to heat water up for dishes. How lucky I am and a profound happiness too.
9:20pm
After a very delicious dinner of blackened salmon and brown rice. Right before dinner, jun-Ming Wang called to chat. Phone calls with her is always long but heart felt. She is such a person of compassion and honesty. And such a simple person. She helped me to realize again how lucky I am now with a loving husband that more than spoils me. And my life is so much easier because of him. Now he snores across from me on the couch after a full dinner with wine and his favorite Margherita. The fire warms the room and makes it very comfortable. Still reading the hermitage journal, rising and resting along with John and the little hermitage.
I wanted to offer up prayers for him after reading his entries on his physical discomfort even now. And yet he also referred to his profound felicity inside that is not disturbed by the physical ailment. The prayers from the monks must have uplifted him spiritually even though he wasn’t aware of it, I’m sure. His fondness of silence, of nature, of the sacrament showed in every entry. He knew the wordless prayer offered in silence and mental dumbness is as legit as the elaborate ornamented ones. The simple mass offered in simple ways impressed the soul more than the beautiful sounds.
1am
Finished the book. In the end, he wrote about the death of an old friend noting that he was the one of the last two left in his group of lifelong friends, thinking about his own mortality. And he mentioned it was his 53rd birthday that year. He was my age! And yet he had a much fuller life and deeper spirituality and literary and music depth, I feel so insignificant in his light. And he was in such bad health with diabetes needing to shoot insulin every day. So sad for him. So sad that he is gone. Wish he had written more but the book is full of wisdom and revelations. I have little memory of my first read. But this time it sure has left more impressions. Maybe I needed to grow a bit in order to fully appreciate his writing. And I do now.
