Found this phrase on Pinterest and it seems to fit my situation. Used it to practice my calligraphy in Procreate on my iPad. Eye and Soul seem to be the two main things on my mind these days. The eye has prompted me to think more seriously about my life purpose, my interests, and the soul.
For a while now, dancing has been my first priority and my passion. I love to dance, I love learning techniques and practice to make them part of my dance movements. When life situations change, I always look forward to go back to it. This time, it really shook my core. I don’t know if I can go back to dancing, competitively. The cost around ballroom dancing has always been an intimidating factor in my dance life. No matter how much I love it, the cost has never made sense to me. Yes, everybody needs to make a living, but ballroom world has its way to jacking up the cost every chance it has. $150 an hour for a coaching session is still too steep for me. I couldn’t justify charging that much for my computer skills that took me 30 years to build. So, I felt guilty spending money on my lessons, not to mention those expensive costumes I bought.
So now, dancing seems to be the first one that may go out the door for me. I feel sad and unfinished. I have worked on the open routines for almost 2 years and now I will not even be able to go out to perform them. And I haven’t found another sport or exercise that would captivate my attention and motivation persistently.
Since it is my right eye, it’s the one I use to take pictures too. That is the second hobby that I have to adjust. Maybe I can train my left eye to take over. It will not be natural and it will take time to adjust. And almost everything I do I need both of my eyes. It now seems such a luxury to me to have that unhindered vision to look at things.
So it’s time to give up most of the things I once called hobbies, or learn to do them without perfect vision. It’s very frustrating, but I know I will get used to it and learn to function. I have told myself that I will not ask why and I will deal with it the best I can. But it is not easy….
