Category Archives: Contemplative Prayer

11:43pm

Griffin speaks to me in his journal. His happiness in the silence and solitude in Merton’s hermitage fascinates me. I’m reading his entries in the winter. The fire is a central theme in the notes, it’s cold up there and the fireplace seems to be his only source of warmth. A simple life with primitive living. Maybe it is easier to get close to God that way. He often writes his waiting for the dawn in the earlier morning hours. He has great happiness when he has the reserved sacrament in the chapel in that little hermitage. Symbols make it so much easier for us to sense gods presence. I guess us humans rely a lot on our senses to experience the presence of god.

Spent the day doing things I absolutely love. New audible book, the absolute power while I ply the brown yarn while Leo watched golf in the afternoon. Looked and found a shawl pattern for the blue lace yarn and started turning the skeins to balls and knitting it while listening to the book. Finally reading the hermitage journal in bed and got totally lost in it. Leo joked again and said i should find a monastery for a retreat to get this out of my system. I might. And I feel so blessed to have a loving husband who encourages me to do things that I love to do and choose to see my good sides instead of my shortcomings.

The legal stuff still plagues me in the back of my mind. But I am much more relaxed now than a day ago . These things bother me more than anything. I get anxious and I worry. Thank god that it is at least not the center part of my life or I would go crazy.

E came home around 11 and we had a few minutes of good conversation. As the kids grow older, the relationship changes and we are still trying to find the balance where we can be comfortable with each other and still be ourselves.

Griffin often complains that he stayed up too late and missed the pre dawn time when he could do his best work. I often thought along the same line and regret that I stay up too late. But night time seems to be my most active time mentally if not physically. It will take some discipline to change my body rhythm. I do like to get up early and have the whole day in front of me instead of having only a few hours of daylight and back into the night again.

I searched and found “Follow the ecstasy” by Griffin. He was supposed to write Merton’s biography but because of health reasons didn’t and wrote this book instead. I got it from amazon and can’t wait to read it next. But now, I am totally loving his own journal. He spent the year right after Merton’s death in Merton’s hermitage drinking Merton’s tea, praying in his chapel, sleeping in his cot, reading his journals, talking to the same people Merton talked to. What a privilege! But I didnt see the photos he said he took of the hermitage, the monastery, the people etc. What a disappointment.

After searching for the hermitage journal by John Howard Griffin in my library several times in vain, I finally ordered a used one from Amazon.  I can’t find it in the public Library or online any where.  I had it years ago and remember that I really enjoyed reading it. But of course I remembered nothing now. The book came quickly in a couple days and I am very happy to see an old friend showing up. I’ve been reading it since I got it yesterday. 

I love the total inhibition in his journal writing. He wrote honestly and descriptively.  He brought me into the humid and hot weather in august in KY and I can feel the coolness when he contrasted it in the early morning hours in that quiet darkness.  I can almost hear his typewriter clicking away. 

I also love to read his detailed documentation of his days. Why is it interesting to read that as opposed to other journals of the same method? I guess it’s the subject matter that interests me. I want to know more about the monastery life behind the doors. I like to read about it’s daily schedule to understand how they practice their belief and how they get that rhythm for contemplation.

Johns narrative fills that need exactly. He was living in Thomas merton’s hermitage experiencing Tom’s life in his surroundings getting to see, hear, and sense the same weather and views, talking to the same people, the same humid weather, the same black snake. And I get to have a glimpse of that through his words. And not only that, I also feel that I get to know Tom more as he revealed his understanding of Tom’s predicaments and his longings for a more solitary solitude. I can somehow relate to that.

I think writers need the solitude to germinate and solidify the ideas and mental discoveries and record them for others to build on. But a constant contact and interruptions will make it impossible to record and the mental process become constipated. On the other hand, the solitude is also necessary as a means to force the person to communicate via writing instead of fulfilling the need from senseless talking.

…….

Woke up early this morning when Manfred came in the room to start the morning ritual. And stayed up after begging a cup of coffee from Leo, Manfred’s way. Started reading the hermitage journal and thoughts just poured out of me. I am so lucky to have the iPad on the night stand right next to me that I can just pick it up and start typing. John would have to get out of bed and go to his typewriter, put the paper in hoping that the thoughts wouldn’t escape him by the time he is settled at the desk. Modern convenience has it’s definite advantage for us into the gadgets.

Got hooked on Leo laporte’s video casts lately. So many topics and he is so easy to listen to. Loving his job too, he gets to go to CES and macworld expo and such to see the newest and latest gadgets and technologies, try them out for free and he gets to talk to people with the same enthusiasm as he for a living. Dream job.

Now that’s the extreme contrast. A hermit and a talk show host. I am equally intrigued by both. Who am I really.

Mom’s legal matters continues to haunt me. It has been the thorn for me as I dread them and afraid to make mistakes and bring unpleasant consequences. I know they will come to an end eventually but the process nearly paralyzes me mentally.