Now the dancing part of the knitter. A comp is coming up this Thursday. I have started the lessons again in preparation for this competition. After being away for a few months for the big changes in my life, now I’m trying hard to get back to those passions of mine that I have enjoyed for years. I will not be able to be as good as I want to be but I can try to do the best I can.
We are going to the game with J. J and Leo haven’t met yet so this is a good opportunity to introduce them to each other. Indians is doing great right now. Hopefuly they will have a good game tonight too. I haven’t been to the game in years but Leo is a big fan of them. He’s been wanting to go and J just happened to suggest it. What good timing.
Had my first lesson in months yesterday and I can feel the pain today. No pain no gain, hopefully I’m gaining a lot from this. 🙂 Really, I have the time to dedicate to dancing now and can give it more attention and focus. A great hobby that provides the mental challenge and the physical demand.
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| From dancingknitter |
It’s the laundry, trash, general cleaning day. Weekend was good, laid back and slow paced. Leo made a good dinner and everybody loved it. Brandon said he was amazed that we knew what to cook when I called them in the morning.
That is the difference between having to go to work and staying home for me. I can space out the rest of the chores over the week instead of cramming them all into the weekend. Although we still have to do some food shopping on the weekend – which Leo enjoys doing, we don’t feel hurried and we could take our time deciding what to get.
The days still haven’t slowed down yet. Even though I don’t have a timeline for the things I need to do, the list just doesn’t seem to go down for me. I know that the maintenance chores will cycle back all the time, they will never end. But I was hoping for a sense of control, so far, it hasn’t come yet. I need to learn at a late age how to manage my life and achieve a sense of worth when you don’t hold a job outside the home. I really don’t miss working at all, I just need to internalize the ‘theory’ I know in my head that a ‘house wife’ has her worth maintaining a home instead of a job.
The morning sun really comes in the living room and makes the room hot. Got to get some blinds or curtains not just for the shading but also privacy at night.
The old house has been bugging me all the time now. Every time I have a few minutes to sit down the thought of finishing it up and selling it makes me sick. There are stuff that are just in the way and preventing me from cleaning or moving forward. I need a Brandon that is always there and able to lift the heavy stuff for me.
The weekend is coming up, maybe I can ask for some help and move forward a bit. May enter the ballroom competition that’s coming up at the end of the month. I don’t know if I’ll have the time to practice enough for it though.
Indecision or unable to move forward is driving my crazy.
It’s an overcasting day, but still nothing beats the view out the enormous windows. The swan is cleaning its feathers across the lake too. He’s slightly out of sight of the picture. Benny and Tido both are clunked out currently.
Going to get the haircut later today finally. It was bothering me the whole time we were in San Fran.
Although I’ve moved into this place for almost a month now, the rhythm is still not setup yet. However, the urge to write is back. There is a need to go inward and reflect. And this setting is perfect for it. The view of water always puts me in a meditative mood.
I finished a pair of socks on the trip too! The ride on Highway 1 was so scary that I tried to focus on knitting instead and was able to finish the pair in a couple of days. Record speed.
Yes, it was very scenic but the ride was like a rollercoaster ride with your heart held in your mouth when you get tossed left and right not knowing if there is a car or a big truck coming around the corner at you or not. When the driver adds vocal acclamation when he slammed on the break also didn’t help either. 🙂
Living as a married couple is certainly a challenge to me. After spending almost 10 days with each other every minute of the day, it’s starting to get on your nerves and a test of patience is certainly trying for both. Merging of two lives is certainly not an easy task.
Been a while since the trips started. First Vegas then San Francisco. Taken a lot of pictures on the trip. And they are fabulous!
It sure feels good to be back home. Still don’t think this is home yet, kind of miss my old dirty house. But life is different now.
Not having to go to work in the morning is certainly a big plus and makes all the difference in how I feel about the day. I think I have an easier time waking up in the morning knowing that I don’t need to rush to work. And I actually accomplish more things than even now. The day after a 10 days trip, I’ve washed all the dirty clothes instead of waiting for the weekend and feeling depressed to spend the day doing laundry.
Benny wasn’t a good dog while we were gone. He peed and pooed in the basement. Got to get hime back in the rhythm again. Took him for a hair cut also and he looks much better now. It is so good to see Manfred too, I actually missed him!
I can’t belive there are so much to do in the day. Can’t understand how I managed when I was working. I am filling the day with so much running around, how DID I manage before with two kids!! I don’t know.
The old house still needs work, throwing junk out and cleaning. It’s depressing. Still need to stop the darn paper there too. It takes at least 3 phone calls to transfer the delivery and they are still delivering the paper at the old house. I picked up 4 old paper today on the drive way. sigh!
It’s going to take some time to get used to this new life. I imagine this leisurely life that I can do the things I like to do but instead I’m running around doing chores all day. Sandy is right, it’s not going to slow down when you don’t have a job, it’s busier! L said we’ll probably eat out most of the time, but when we are home, I still feel obligated to cook dinner. Maybe I’ll get out of that old thinking about what a “house wife” is supposed to do. I don’t think I’ll be a good “house wife” anyway.
Man, it’s been a crazy month since I quit my job. Getting married, moving, packing, unpacking, getting ready for another trip to SF. Life comes at you so fast right now, there is no time to slow down and think, let alone write. I’ve neglected this blog for a while now. Have tons of pictures to post and things to blog. Maybe after the SF trip I will be able to put in some personal time to reflect and write again.
But the new place is wonderful. Right now, I’m looking out the two big picture windows, I mean, huge windows at the pond and the condos across the pond. Can’t believe I actually live here. Still feel like I am just staying at one of those resort place and I’ll be leaving in a few days. Pets are adjusting pretty well. At least no blood has been drawn yet, benny has taken to the walks very well. And there is a very nice park with a lake just arond the corner. I never knew about this park in the 23 years living in this town. I’m living my dream right now.
It’s been a while since I last wrote in this blog. Lots have happened since then. I’ve gone back to Taiwan and visited mom, I’ve put in my 2 week’s notice for my job, Leo and I got our wedding bands and he insisted on wearing it, we’re gonig to Vegas next week to get married, and San Francisco for our honeymoon. Whew! That was a busy, emotional and life changing month.
Now I no longer need to struggle out of bed to go to a job that is depressing and unrewarding. I am giving up a good income and stepping into a life that has no financial assurance from a steady income. But I am excited and I am happy and I can’t wait to start a new life that gives the control back into my hands instead of living a life according to other’s timeline and priorities.
It will take some time to let that sink into my consciousness. I still have the urge to check my email to see if there is any urgent problem that needs my attention. The fear that if I don’t check in I will be the end of the finger pointnig and labeled an unsatisfactory worker is still ingrained in my subconsciousness. That invisible seize and stress is still so ingrained in my mind and hard to break. It’ll take some time.
Life is changing and still coming at me with full force though. Need to dejunk the house, sell it and move to the condo. Car needs maintenance. Pets need shots. Yard needs to have the fallen tree removed. Plus now the arrangements for the condo matters will falll somewhat on my shoulder since I don’t have a ‘job’ any more. Life is never easy….
The trip is getting closer. Only a few days away now. It’ll be a hectic couple of weeks during the trip. Still a working trip. Hopefully after this one, things will calm down and I can finally enjoy it as a vacation rather than business.
The sock is slowly moving along. I just finished the gusset and turned the heel. I actually like making it from the cuff down. It’s more involved but I dislike short rows from the toes up. And this method seems to produce more fabric around the ankle which should be more comfortable to wear. We’ll see.
Trying to tie up work stuff today as it’s the last day before the trip. Things are going pretty smoothly. Clients are finally leaving me alone, no new last minute stuff they have to have before I leave. Hopefully.
Changes, changes, changes. So many of them at this time, it’s hard to be calm and peaceful inside.